Catbert accuses Wally of creating a bot to answer his emails with unless nonsense. But he can't prove it because Wally has always answered his emails like that.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Dilbert's mom asks Dilbert to stop whatever he's doing with his fitbit. She's been monitoring it.
Tina is late for work again because traffic is terrible. Dilbert suggests leaving for work earlier but then she couldn't stay up watching Netflix.
Asok thinks Dilbert has a cool selfie drone. It's actually Dilbert's mom spying on him.
The Boss says Wally has accomplished nothing this month. Wally says he's waiting for people to get back to him and it's the Boss's responsibility to ensure other people do their jobs.
The Boss asks Dilbert why he didn't respond to a text last night. Dilbert has no social life and isn't dead so the Boss owns him.
Ted is wearing an eyepatch because he took one in the eye when walking past a ping-pong table. Then a pregnant fly goes up his nose.
Ted is on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs.
Carol circulates a get well card for Ted after a fly laid eggs in his brain.
Dilbert says he has too much work and is stressed out by it. The Boss suggests writing down what is good. That's more work for Dilbert.
The Boss says they need to disrupt the industry, but check with him before doing anything.
The employees aren't happy when they're told to act like entrepreneurs. They'd rather compare their careers to people in other cubicles.
Alice says if Alan does what she wants, she will nominate Alan for employee of the year. If not, Alice will spread terrible rumours about Alan.
Everything went wrong for Alan this week. All kinds of problems. Dilbert doesn't want to listen.
A woman checks her phone while walking with Dilbert. She enjoys checking her phone more than talking to him.
Dilbert starts talking about the weather to Alice. She gets more entertainment from her phone than talking with him.
Dilbert loves being able to look up everything on the Internet. He finds a YouTube video to show him how to use a new app.
Wally give the Boss new virtual reality goggles. The Boss needs to wear them all day to upgrade the experience of the real world.
Wally convinced the Boss to wear virtual reality goggles all day. The Boss is looking at a plant and thinks it is Wally working very hard.
Dilbert finally figured out how to put everything the Boss wanted on one slide. Now the Boss wants more, but still keep just one slide.
The Boss thinks another person is very stupid. Dilbert suggests the Boss is not smart enough to understand the other person's point.
This week, Alice designed and built a prototype that can turn any kind of garbage into fuel. Wally sent out some emails, but no one answered.
Asok has no plans for the weekend because he's an introvert. He will be lonely and despair and jealous of people with substance abuse problems.
The company's goal is to make the world a better place. And also to destroy the competition.
Wally asks if the company has bereavement leave because he has lots of cousins who don't take care of themselves.
Wally wants leave because his cousin died. Catbert says cousins don't count unless Wally married one.
The biggest obstacle to success on Dilbert's project is the Boss. It's always the Boss.
Dilbert gives the Boss a dashboard to the current status of all their projects. The Boss never needs to ask for status updates.
The Boss notices the project status dashboard never changes. He suspects it is a static image.
The Boss wants to ask Wally to write some software. But he can't find Wally since Wally took the Agile programming class.
Dilbert gives the Boss a breakdown of his time for a month. Useless meetings, co-workers complaining, resending files, false rumours, and wrong projects.