Catbert's job in human resources is to give everyone a permanent feeling of inadequacy. That's to make all the employees work feverishly to boost company profits.
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Dilbert does the dance of the adequate.
A soon-to-be-ex-co-worker says he will not show Dilbert how to run the software.
The Boss doesn't listen to feedback from an ex-employee at an exit interview. He doesn't get the chance to dump on everyone.
The CEO doesn't like the name of the company's new app. Dilbert says good names are already taken.
A prominent fund manager takes a huge short position in their company's stock, Dilbert learns. The Boss doesn't care about a cartoon cat from the Bloom County comic strip.
The CEO asks for input on corporate strategy. Dilbert says we need to be more customer-centric. The CEO misinterprets everything Dilbert says.
The company's ads are so bad they increase sales for competitors. The Boss recommends creating ads for competitors.
The Boss asks Dilbert to stop mentioning software bugs when talking with customers. Dilbert says that's the same as lying.
The company beat the earning expectation and the employees should be proud, the CEO says.
Dilbert compliments Topper's new car. Topper takes the compliment as if he made his own car.
The Boss tells Asok to advance his career by learning as much as he can from co-workers. Asok tries with Alice who shuts him down.
Dilbert tries out the theory that asking for advice increases the odds of career advancement.
The Boss confronts Alice about her communications style. He has heard no complaints but picks up on people's body language.
The Boss says from now on they are all team members. He will be the team member who gets paid the most and makes decisions.
Catbert says scientific research shows that happiness will not increase if Dilbert makes more money. So Dilbert can only get a raise of he renounces science.
The CEO says a good leader has to be willing to be disliked. Dilbert says he must be a great leader.
The CEO says being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert says to try being less of an #!@*, so people might want to spend time with him.
Tina says Dilbert has been named one of the sexiest engineers in the world. The competition was not fierce.
Dilbert tells Dogbert he was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world. Dogbert says it sounds like a joke.
The Boss asks Dilbert to make some PowerPoint slides to show project progress even though there hasn't been any.
Catbert measures cognitive control of an interviewee by giving him a doughnut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos and vodka.
Catbert wants to measure an interviewee's personality to see where in the organisation he would fit. The interviewee says that sounds stupid.
The CEO says the secret to being a good leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert comments that's the same strategy used by the insane.
The Boss wants Dilbert's opinion before making a decision. Dilbert says he would no longer perceive the Boss as a leader.
Dilbert is freaking out because he has too many projects. The Boss says to tackle the unpleasant tasks first.
Dilbert's best ideas are trapped in his head. Voicing them attracts haters like zombies on fish sticks.
The Boss names Wally the Worst Employee of the Month. It comes with a special parking spot under the tree with many birds.
The Boss introduces Larry, the new employee who isn't competent but is a good cultural fit.
Larry meets Alice. He's awkward because he's a good cultural fit but not competent.