The feng shui consultant is not available so Dilbert brings in an astrologer instead.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Alice puts on her idea-shredding gloves for Dilbert's idea.
Wally describes his career plan -- to do nothing that can be measured while appearing valuable.
Dilbert wants to know how his assignment fits in the big picture. The Boss doesn't want to motivate him.
Dilbert decides to be more vocal about his accomplishments.
Dilbert gives heavy-handed advice to Tina about editing her document.
The Boss asks Dilbert to stop telling Tina how to do her job.
Tina asks Dilbert for a contribution for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert decides what Scott is worth.
The parking lot is far away from the office by design, Catbert says, to remove temptation to run personal errands during the day.
Dilbert requests training to get a new technology certification. The Boss refuses saying Dilbert will use the certification to get a better job.
Dilbert wears headphones when in his cubicle to discourage people from talking with him.
The Boss does not enjoy it when people appear to enjoy working.
The Boss asks Dilbert what feedback have people given about Dilbert's idea.
A co-worker asks Dilbert about an e-mail. Dilbert says everything in the e-mail was a bad idea but didn't want to explain why as it would take too long.
The Boss asks Wally to go to Elbonia. Wally is excited because lots of things are legal in Elbonia that aren't legal where he is.
Wally visits Elbonia and wants to enjoy some local debauchery.
Dilbert programs the Boss's speed dial on his desk phone to always call the Boss's cell phone.
Wally returns from Elbonia and tells the Boss about his visit to a sacred shrine.
An Elbonian tells Dogbert about their missile program and a recent test that damaged an orphanage.
Dilbert outlines a plan to move an asteroid into the moon's orbit and mine it for precious metals. The Boss wants to know why this can't be done in Afghanistan.
Catbert wants to have all employees as holograms, and move the employees to the cloud.
The Boss asks Dilbert to do a cost analysis for consolidating the data centres. The Boss says to recommend it's a good investment no matter what the data says.
Dilbert finishes the fraudulent analysis the Boss requested to support the decision he already made, even though it goes against everything the company expects.
A co-worker brags to Dilbert about her children so Dilbert gets Topper to respond to her.
Ted says he'll get the information Dilbert requested, but Dilbert thinks he's unreliable and will schedule followups.
Dogbert gives the Boss a sample of the magic dust Apple puts on all their consumer products to create lust for their products.
Dogbert's retirement planning service recommends hoping for a nearsighted billionaire to hunt the client on his private island.
Dogbert's retirement investor service recommends a fee of 10 percent of clients' portfolio per year.
The company lawyer says the new product infringes too many patents and recommends everyone become farmers.
Dogbert offers his services as a patent troll, to sue other companies that are suing back.