The Boss asks why it took Dilbert six months to complete a simple task. Dilbert blames it on the Boss's management style.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The Boss hires a sadist to thin the herd.
The sadist says Wally is worthless and overpaid. Wally doesn't care.
The Boss wants people to use vacation by year end then criticises Asok for taking time off.
Asok works extra hard to finish his work before his vacation. Dilbert goes home early.
Dilbert criticises a co-worker's powerpoint and calls it useless and has wino's spittle.
The mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being starts at 6AM so as not to interfere with work.
Dilbert is honest on his timesheet and charges less of his time to projects than all the other engineers.
Dilbert's date says he treats all their conversations like a contest where he has too be the one who is right.
Wally says the new hire is a weasel and liar. The Boss says that's just so the Boss won't believe him when the new hire complains about Wally.
The Boss hires an unqualified crony to run the quality control group. He values loyalty over competence.
Dilbert complains the Boss's unqualified crony is causing rebellion among the staff. The Boss doesn't believe him.
Alice targets Keith for elimination. She'll start rumours to convince everyone he is dishonest and incompetent.
Asok found a clever way to write his code in an hour. The Boss now expects him to finish all his projects in an hour.
Keith complains to Catbert Alice is spreading false rumours about him. Catbert says the company doesn't worry about the difference between rumours and facts.
Dilbert can't get a raise but the Boss lets him have two flat screen monitors.
Tina complains Dilbert has two computer monitors but she only gets one. The Boss says yhat's because men are better negotiators.
The Boss asks Dilbert to make changes to a document and run it by him again. Dilbert thinks he's entered an infinite loop.
Wally says he increased his productivity by improving his morale. He watched Youtube videos all day.
Dogbert the security consultant asks everyone to look out for suspicious behaviour. If they see someone do what they wouldn't do, they are to beat the person to death with a trash can.
Wally says he helped Alice finish her project on time. He did this by not insisting she get data for his project.
Dogbert the security consultant says anyone without a badge should be locked in a janitor's closet until he starves.
Dilbert says he can't do his work because the Internet is too fascinating.
Dilbert tells a psychologist he's addicted to the Internet. Direct human interaction is too shallow and predictable.
Catbert announces all sick days need to be scheduled in advance. Alice wonders how that's supposed to work.
Dilbert wonders why decisions in the workplace seem to have been made by drunken lemurs. The garbageman responds decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.
A co-worker wants to give Dilbert some advice. Dilbert wants to respond by rolling his eyes, sighing loudly and dismissing the advice.
Ratbert says he's happy his brain is empty. Stress is just another word for knowledge.
A co-worker wonders why Dilbert didn't use any of his suggestions. Dilbert says it's because his brain is the size of a marble.
Dogbert says all the scientists think the company's products harm the environment so recommends paying weasels to cast doubt on the data.
Dogbert goes to Rent-a-Weasel to hire unsuccessful scientists and lazy journalists to take the opposing view.