Dilbert admits to a woman he worked at the company that restated its earnings.
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The CEO wants to clear up questions about the restatement of earnings. Wally asks if he will return his 25 million dollar bonus.
The Boss wants Alice to use her vacation days by the end of the year but still wants the project done by then.
A contract employee says he can't enjoy time off because he only gets paid for the time he works.
Catbert says an absence counts as an occurrence no matter how long it is.
Carol has a candy dish on her desk but doesn't want Dilbert to take any candy.
Dogbert says machines are more important than some employees.
The only employee who knows how to program the legacy machines has quit. Dilbert is to step in.
A family of squirrels has taken over the legacy payroll database. They make demands.
Dogbert's tech support advises a man to hand over his personal identity and check into rehab.
Asok asks for the Boss's comments on a proposal before it is submitted.
Asok has telekinesis but is not allowed to use it in front of the ungifted.
Asok invents a room-temperature superconductor instead of finding a new vendor for toner cartridges.
Alice is interrupted by a cell phone during a presentation. She destroys the phone.
The Boss assigns Wally to the director of marketing because the Boss hates the director.
The director of marketing asks Wally if Wally can do an assignment right.
Dilbert asks the Boss why he never showed up for the budget meeting the Boss had requested.
Dilbert sent an overly brief e-mail which Tina interpreted as he hates her.
Dilbert tells Wally Tina is mad at him because of residual anger.
An insurance seller closes a deal and the client dies just after signing the contract.
An insurance seller closes a deal with the Boss just before the building catches fire.
A politician is having an affair with a squirrel, Dogbert tells Dilbert.
Wally teases that a politician had an affair with a squirrel. Dilbert responds another choked his secretary.
Wally tells Asok not to return dishes to the cafeteria. Someone else will do it instead.
Dilbert finds a way to save a million dollars for a cost of ten thousand. The Boss doesn't like it.
They don't pay enough to hire qualified employees so hire unqualified ones with good attitudes.
The Boss admits a new employee can't be trained, but doesn't want to fire him because there's now a hiring freeze.
A vampire gives a pep talk for the employees to donate blood. The vampire is not part of the Red Cross.
Catbert questions why the Boss allowed a vampire to run a blood drive.
The Boss asks Carol's advice on which diet to follow.
Dilbert must get approval from the change control board before talking with vendors to get their prices.