Dogbert shows the Boss some books that have inspired great leaders for centuries.
Leadership, book, inspire, pyramid, pharaoh, naughty, Dogbert, Boss
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Dilbert cautions the Boss not to touch his prototype in case there's an electrical shock. He does anyway.
Science, prototype, touch, shock, electricity, zap, contrary, tool, safety goggles, lab coat, circuit board, gizmo, scorch, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss announces some company strategies which seem obvious to everyone.
Management, strategy, revenue, product, obvious, idea, eliminate waste, Boss, Dilbert, Wally
Alice is annoyed by her cubicle neighbour's constant use of a cell phone.
Office Politics, cell phone, cubicle annoyances, steal, flush, every two minutes, metallic, noise, Alice, Ted
Phil is losing at cards to a snowman, so he turns up the thermostat.
Philosophy, heck, winning streak, poker, thermostat, heat, furnace, cold, cell phone, snowman, Phil, Snowball
A mother helps Dilbert test a new invention -- a toddler noise cancellation device.
Science, test, invention, telephone, noise cancellation, visual, tantrum, button, gizmo, Dilbert, mother, toddler
The Boss asks Carol to print out the company web site and put it in a binder for easy reference.
Management, print, web site, binder, reference, translate, Klingon, dictionary maker, Boss, Carol
Dilbert looks for a new job online and discovers an advertisement for his own job.
Professional, bad day, worse, job hunting, online, qualify, Dilbert
The Boss asks everyone to report violations of the company's new corporate code of ethics.
Professional, violate, corporate code of ethics, report, ship, product, defective, meeting, lie, Boss, Dilbert, Wally
The Boss's wife tells him his children have grown up and moved away.
Family, telephone, working, children, plan, grow up, move away, Boss, Boss's wife
Catbert announces no more free soft drinks and no more free coffee and no more free bottled water.
Personnel, policy, free, soft drink, coffee, bottled water, saliva, future, Catbert
Dilbert reports their new e-mail spam blocker is stopping all incoming and outgoing messages.
Technology, e-mail, spam blocker, software, worthless, sentient, demoralise, fear, calendar, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss asks Dilbert to write up the company's technology strategy. Dilbert doesn't know what that is.
Management, technology strategy, duh, stock, sell, Boss, Dilbert
A Cluttermeleon lines his cubicle nest with printed debris.
Office Politics, lines his nest, debris, predator, lair, disguise, Cluttermeleon, Boss
Tina complains in a twelve-page e-mail about her carpal tunnel syndrome and the lack to time to do any work.
Office Politics, request, e-mail, complaint, description, carpal tunnel, problem, chapter, pain, Dilbert, Tina
A business reporter interviews Dilbert about their new product line and how dumb or dynamic it is.
Start of saga: A bad newspaper article about the company's product and a corporate witch hunt
Interview, telephone, Wall Times Post Gazette, interview, story, dumb, dynamic, product, nickname, CEO, Dilbert, business reporter, Dogbert
The Boss complains to Catbert about what an engineer said to a reporter.
Management, engineer, reporter, newspaper, technology, putrid, complaint, witch hunt, Boss, Catbert
The Boss asks Alice if she talked to a reporter about their product. She tells him she did not.
Management, witch hunt, product, reporter, honour, promise, divining rod, Boss, Alice
The Boss has narrowed the list to seventeen suspects who might have talked with the reporter.
Management, witch hunt, list, suspect, reporter, e-mail, telephone records, linguistic patterns, punish, Boss, Catbert
Dilbert presents a list of functions that should be outsourced. It is pretty well everything.
Outsourcing, list, presentation, management, sales, marketing, quality control, core competence, raise, strategy, engineer, finance, human resources, customer support, honest, retribution, Dilbert, Boss, Wally
The Boss wants to use a medium to contact dead people to work for him.
Personnel, dead people, yap, psychic, television, test, software, medium, punish, Boss, Catbert
Carol notes Dilbert hasn't finished his mandatory six sigma training.
Training, six sigma, mandatory, crash, data, new on this planet, online, Carol, Dilbert
Wally gets Dilbert's steel rod bent into a U-shape by giving it to Alice and then taunting her.
Office Politics, steel rod, bend, tweak, steel spike award, highest paid, tool, gizmo, male, sexist, Dilbert, Wally, Alice
Tina went on a date with an unemployed man and called it an unfunded man date.
Pun, dating, unemployed, unfunded man date, laugh, delivery, mandate, Tina
The Boss suggests some changes to an irrelevant document.
Management, document, review, suggestion, unnecessary change, irrelevant, happy, dance, whistle, Boss, Dilbert
Dogbert offers to name a subatomic particle after Dilbert -- for a fee.
Dogbert-Schemes, subatomic particle, satisfied customer, Arthur C. Quark, George Meson, unsigned certificate, bathrobe, Dogbert, Dilbert
The Boss asks Dilbert to absorb Ted's function, since Ted was surplussed.
Downsizing, surplus, absorb, function, osmosis, synergy, symbiosis, reality, monkey-brained mistakes, key learning, Boss, Dilbert
A new ad campaign is planned, using recently dead people because of budget cuts.
Marketing, ad campaign, artist, sell out, budget cut, dead, decompose, makeup, guitar, bullhorn, goatee, suspenders, television camera, marketing guy, director, Boss, Wally, cameraman
A sales guy presents a quote that includes absolutely every expense. Alice wants to make sure there are no hidden costs.
Sales, price quote, expense, Alice side agreement, sign, hidden costs, punch, you freaking weasel, contract, sales guy, Alice
The Boss hires a woman who laughs at everything whether it's funny or not.
Office Politics, laugh, funny, hire, impact, morale, cubicle, loud, computer, Boss, laughing woman, Alice
Dogbert decides to criticise everything he doesn't understand.
Dogbert-Schemes, criticise, understand, flat tax, Kyoto Treaty, security council, stem cells, bah, ear, Dogbert, Dilbert