Dilbert demonstrates some things they can't do.
Sales, demonstration, can't do, better, meaning, life, laptop computer, Dilbert, Ted
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The Boss is in a bad mood so he does some recreational criticising.
Management, bad mood, criticise, employee, recreation, e-mail, chimp, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert asks Dogbert for career advice: stay in his comfortable job or get a better job with longer hours and a bad commute.
Professional, career, advice, comfortable job, growth potential, commute, self-loathing, vise, peach, problem, bathrobe, Dilbert, Dogbert
The Boss asks why everyone is always late for his staff meetings.
Meeting, late, stupid stuff, finest work, notice, Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Wally
Tina asks about the current severance package.
Professional, severance package, transfer, quit, give notice, Tina, Boss
Catbert confronts Tina about complaints about her hostile behaviour.
Personnel, complain, hostile, behaviour, body language, cold, eyebrows, Catbert, Tina
Tina tries very hard to avoid any hostile body language.
Office Politics, hostile, body language, accusation, cross arms, move eyebrows, frown, nice day, Tina, Dilbert
The Boss gives an urgent assignment to Carol. She adds it to her compost drawer.
Secretary, urgent, compost, drawer, Boss, Carol
The Boss distributes buttons to the engineers that say "I'm empowered." Asok refuses to wear it.
Management, button, empowerment, force, life, package, Boss, Asok, Wally
Wally insults the Boss while pretending to talk on his hands-free phone.
Office Politics, hands-free, telephone, ignorant maggot, disgust, face transplant, baboon, moron, crud, personal call, insult, company time, Wally, Boss
Dilbert's extends the project time estimate with an incompetence multiplier and a lying weasel factor.
Project, perfect world, time estimate, incompetence multiplier, history, lying weasel factor, LWF, Dilbert, Boss, Alice
An employee asks the Boss for permission to hold prayer services in the conference room.
Management, permission, prayer services, conference room, blood, clean, ambitious plan, brain wash, curly hat, priest, Boss
The Boss introduces Dilbert to Medical Mel, who will be making loud personal calls all day.
Office Politics, cubicle, neighbour, loud, personal call, squishy sound, bandage, eye patch, Boss, Dilbert, Medical Mel
Dilbert overhears Medical Mel talking about his latest injection from a needle four feet long.
Office Politics, needle, cubicle, neighbour, pencil, doctor, Olympic javelin champion, nickname, Shishkabob, bandage, eye patch, Medical Mel, Dilbert
Asok fills out his skills inventory. Wally says the information is used to transfer people to jobs they don't want.
Management, skills inventory, transfer, job, check box, hazmat, stupid, Wally, Asok
Ming tells the Boss the budget numbers are down. The Boss says they should reorganise the department to improve the outlook.
Budget, numbers are down, reorganise, history, comparison, downsize, fire, award, el diablo, Ming, Boss
The Boss asks Catbert how to maintain the illusion of an open door policy without actually having one.
Management, open door policy, complain, morale, illusion, body language, protective bubble, scowl, stress, input, Boss, Catbert, Dilbert, Carol
The Boss asks Carol to organise a survey about why the morale is low.
Management, survey, morale, monkey, zoo, problem, fling, repeat, Boss, Carol
Dilbert explains in detail his theory of consciousness.
Dating, theory, consciousness, predict, observe, action, result, computer, sensor, array, data, boring, sleep, Dilbert
Dogbert puts Dilbert on a strict "need to know" basis.
Family, need to know, crawl space, house, news, six months, believe, remote control, secret, Dogbert, Dilbert
An Elbonian comes to Dogbert regarding his classified ad for a nuclear warhead.
Dogbert-Schemes, classified ad, nuclear warhead, Russia, menace, third-world country, slingshot, Elbonian, Dogbert
The Elbonians announce they will test their new nuclear warhead to frighten Kneebonia, their neighbours.
Dogbert-Schemes, Elbonia, nuclear power, Kneebonia, plan, test, warhead, match, television, border, news reader, Elbonian, Kneebonian
After receiving a badly worded and spelled e-mail from the Boss, Dilbert and Wally want to demonstrate to their friends what an idiot they work for.
Office Politics, e-mail, spelling, friend, idiot, flatter, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice
The Boss says the company is dying. It's because they're not customer centric; nothing to do with bad management, of course.
Management, customer centric, problem, identify, participation, working group, skit, electricity, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
The Boss gives Ted a high-pressure choice: be restructured, repurposed or reassigned.
Management, restructure, repurpose, reassign, decide, pressure, panic, volunteer, quit, Boss, Ted, Catbert
The Boss want to know why the toothpaste company can't pipe their product to houses like the water company can.
Personal, water company, pipe, toothpaste, faucet, pudding, meteor, Boss, Dilbert
A sales person says they're the least expensive unless requirements change in mid-project.
Project, expensive, vendor, requirements, fire, bid, change order, outplacement service, brochure, sales person, Dilbert
The Boss says everything must be justified by ROI.
Management, justify, ROI, return on investment, policy, answer, from now on, Boss, Dilbert, Wally
The Boss says either everyone gets a 20% pay cut or one of the engineers must be downsized.
Downsizing, pay cut, family, point, promise, Boss, Wally, Tina, Asok, Dilbert, Alice
A manager asks Dorie to send an e-mail asking people stay longer.
Management, e-mail, early, car, parking lot, after hours, heads will roll, menacing pose, manager, Dorie
The Boss gives Alice a raise because of her superior performance. There's a catch, though, it's not effective right away.
Performance Review, superior, raise, effective, budget, increase, approval, economy, profit, retroactive, fist of death, Boss, Alice, Wally